‘it’s a shitty time to be alive, i promise i’m an optimist’ is an evolving, site-specific, durational installation performed by me and developed in collaboration with Marissa Mooney. This installation has been performed three times, all in different home-spaces in Salt Lake City, Utah.
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This piece stemmed from grief, isolation, and my heart wrenching evolution towards self-love. I asserted: I am my own fucking garden. What does it mean to build your own garden, water it with your own sweat and tears, and house yourself in it? To create a space of your own making to flourish. To return to the earth. This was an act of defiance: my garden can exist anywhere. This was an act of heartbreak: if I can't love me, who can? This is a labor of love.

This is a work which I have big dreams for. I intend to present it in many different formats and capacities over the next years, allowing it to expand and take many shapes. I would like to present it in a public space, where passerby can engage with and embed themselves into it. This is not a solo, but a dance for anyone interested in life and death.


March 6, 2021

The first iteration of this installation took place in the basement of Marissa Mooney’s family home in Salt Lake City. Its duration lasted two hours. I performed and Marissa documented.


April 4, 2021

Using the same soil from the first iteration, the second performance took place in the backyard of Marissa Mooney’s family home in Salt Lake City. Its duration lasted 2.5 hours. I performed and Marissa documented.


May 1, 2021

The third iteration of this performance was live-streamed from my apartment in Salt Lake City. It was presented in ‘A Duration’ by A Shedding as a part of their Spotlight Series. The audience, watching live on Zoom, was encouraged to send in music, which was then shared on the stream for viewers and performers to hear together.

The duration of this performance was 4 hours. I performed and Marissa documented.